People make comments on social media that they may not say to someone face to face. These comments on social media can be just as damaging as any other form of bullying.
Cyber-bullying can be hurtful and in some circumstances it can also be a criminal act. Cyber-bullying can take many forms. There are plenty of people who can help you overcome the problem, retain your dignity, and preserve your sense of self. There is no simple solution to bullying or cyberbullying, and no foolproof way to handle a bully.
Remember: there is no reason for you to ever put up with any kind of bullying. It is not your fault. No matter what a bully says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel. The bully is the person with the problem, not you. Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Instead, delete any messages and focus on the positive experiences in your life.
There are many wonderful things about you so be proud of who you are. Learn to manage stress. Exercise, meditation, positive self-talk, muscle relaxation, and breathing exercises are all good ways to cope with the stress of bullying. Spend time doing things you enjoy. It may not always seem like it, but there are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.
Unplug from technology. Taking a break from your smartphone , computer, tablet, and video games can open you up to meeting new people. Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music. Or volunteer your time —helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself and expand your social network.
Share your feelings about bullying. Talk to a parent, counselor, coach, religious leader, or trusted friend. Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to boost your self-esteem and reduce stress. Go for a run or take a kickboxing class to work off your anger in a healthy way. Dealing with cyberbullying is rarely easy, but there are steps you can take to cope with the problem.
To start, it may be a good time to reassess your technology use. Spending less time on social media or checking texts and emails, for example, and more time interacting with real people, can help you distance yourself from online bullies. It can also help to reduce anxiety, depression, and feelings of loneliness.
As well as seeking support, managing stress, and spending time with people and activities that bring you pleasure, the following tips can help:. Again, it will only make the problem worse and could result in serious legal consequences for you. Save the evidence of the cyberbullying, keep abusive text messages or a screenshot of a webpage, for example, and then report them to a trusted adult.
Report threats of harm and inappropriate sexual messages to the police. Prevent communication from the cyberbully , by blocking their email address, cell phone number, and deleting them from social media contacts.
Report their activities to their Internet service provider ISP or to any social media or other websites they use to target you.
No matter how much pain it causes, kids are often reluctant to tell parents or teachers about bullying because they feel a sense of shame from being victimized. In the case of cyberbullying, they may also fear losing their cell phone or computer privileges.
Bullies also tend to be adept at hiding their behavior from adults, so if a child is being bullied it may not be obvious to a parent or teacher. One of the best ways to stop cyberbullying is to prevent the problem before it starts. To stay safe with technology, teach your kids to:. Some wireless providers allow you to turn off text messaging services during certain hours. Know who your child communicates with online. Depending on the age of your child, temporarily blocking or restricting access may make sense.
For younger kids: Blocking access for a time is more feasible with younger children as they are less likely to need the internet to complete school work. They can then go through a period where they are online only when you or another adult are supervising.
When they have made full restitution and demonstrated that they are ready to be socially responsible internet users, you can let them try again with family safety often called parental controls tools in place that can monitor conversations and flag you if cyberbullying is occurring.
Let them take one small step at a time and demonstrate their responsibility before adding a new privilege. For older kids and teens: Blocking access is more problematic with older kids as they are likely to need the internet to do their homework, and teens have multiple ways to get online without your supervision.
A couple of alternatives are to place family safety monitoring software on their devices that specifically tracks for content that looks like cyberbullying and other risks.
It may also help to restrict the amount of time your child or teen is away from home, the amount of time they are online at home, and the conditions under which they are allowed online like your presence. Let them take on one small step at a time and demonstrate their responsibility before adding a new privilege. Restrictions in free time. When cyberbullying is accompanied by offline forms of bullying, you may choose to restrict the amount of free time away from home that your child or teen has.
If they were part of a group that was cyberbullying, it may make sense for them to stay away from that group for a time. Many schools suspend students for two weeks for a first cyberbullying offense. They need to be doing their schoolwork, and personal work to change their behavior before returning to school.
Law enforcement may also have set restrictions. Your child may be placed in juvenile detention or have other restrictions placed on their actions pending a trial or as the outcome of a trial. Required learning. Part of building compassion and empathy is gaining a deeper understanding of how damaging cyberbullying can be to both the victim and the bully. For older children, this can include required reading and discussions, or even a full assignment requiring research, and a lengthy report complete with bibliography that outlines the social responsibilities the accompany online use, how victims feel, and the long-term consequences of being a bully.
Though a report or discussion may begin with your child demonstrating a false sincerity, you are looking to see if that deeper understanding and compassion comes through by the end of the discussion or report. Reparations and restitution. Stopping the cyberbullying is a critical step, but the process is not over until there has been a change of heart and honest attempts at reparations have been made.
This includes requiring your child remove as best they can any damaging messages, images, video, or other content they have generated, and asking their friends or others involved to do the same. Your child may not be able to erase all the cyberbullying content, but they should go to significant lengths to remove as much of it as they can. In addition to removing malicious content, it may be appropriate to have them post content that says the malicious content was not true, and they apologize for the damage they may have caused.
It is important your child apologize to their victim s , but how this apology is delivered needs to be based on the situation. The victim may not be ready to hear an apology, in which case writing an apology may be better than delivering one in person.
Whether the court assigns community service work to your child as part of their rehabilitation or not, you may want to consider requiring your child to participate in community service, as this helps build a greater appreciation for the needs of others.
Watch closely for any signs of retaliation. Remain watchful to see if signs of retaliation are present. Any retaliation means your child continues to blame someone else for their misdeeds rather than looking at their own actions. Understand the potential damage to your child if their bullying or cyberbullying continues. There is little research available today about the long-term effects of cyberbullying as the phenomena are so new, but there are significant studies showing the long-term effects of being a bully.
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